Loneliness

Loneliness is a feeling. It’s a feeling that indicates you are not connecting with others as much as you would like to. Loneliness is a symptom of disconnectedness. Prolonged disconnectedness is not good for us. Still, loneliness is a common experience that most of us have at times in life. It is the flip side of being an independent individual that sometimes stands alone.

Loneliness and aloneness are not the same things. Loneliness may be felt when alone, but you may also feel lonely among people including friends and family. Loneliness is the feeling you have when your need for connection isn't fulfilled. And the feeling of disconnection is indeed painful.

It is important to be able to have alone time without feeling lonely—to spend hours or a few days alone without desperately craving connection. In life, there will be such moments and circumstances of being away from the people who matter most. But if these times are prolonged or involuntary it’s only natural that loneliness creeps in.

Loneliness is also a subjective reality and experience. If you feel lonely, then that feeling is a fact in your. It does not matter what others think or say about the situation. For many, the worst kind of loneliness may be emotional disconnection—the feeling that others do not see, acknowledge, understand, and appreciate what’s inside you.

What may we do about loneliness? When you feel it, take it seriously. Acknowledge your feelings and seek out others who may respect and care for how you are feeling.
·       Admit the problem. There is no shame in being lonely. This does not make you a failure. Let the feeling of loneliness be a prompt to think and act in appropriate ways.
·       Consider the causes. Where does the loneliness come from? Is there a lack of people to connect with, or is connecting emotionally with the people in your life difficult? What fears and obstacles stand in the way of connecting with people? Are you seeking connection with the right kind of people – people who can see and appreciate who you are and what’s inside you?
·       Accept what cannot be changed. Life is full of changes and transitions and moving forward requires you to leave something behind. Leaving home, family, friends, colleagues, and classmates may create temporary feelings of loneliness. But appreciate the new opportunities for connection that are out there.
·       Alter what can be changed. It is important to have at least one person in our lives that we can be open with. Having three or more is better. Seek true connection, not popularity or attention. Get involved with other people in something you are interested in or by volunteering for some cause you believe in.
·       Eat with people. We need to eat together. Inviting someone to your home or to go out to eat—this is often where relationships are formed and connections are built.
·       Get a pet. Caring for something other than yourself—feeding it, walking it, petting it, etc., may help.
·       Get professional help. If you do not know how to or manage to improve the quality and quantity of meaningful relationships in your life, then seek professional help. Talk with a physician, counselor, therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist to assess if you may have some treatable mental disorder that gets in the way of connecting with others.

Do not let loneliness pacify you, rather let loneliness drive you into action. The experience of loneliness may push you to seek a deeper connection with others; animals, people, and God. If you are experiencing loneliness, seek what you can change in your social life, and in your spiritual life. True connection is possible.