Only what is given can truly fulfill

My favorite book in the Bible is Ecclesiastes. But Ecclesiastes has a somewhat bad reputation. Many don’t take what it says seriously. Some see Ecclesiastes as the writing of a depressed and disillusioned King Solomon. I don’t think it is. I see it as the writing of the wisest man in the world. I see this book as most relevant today. A book capable of speaking profoundly into our lives in the modern world. Addressing key issues that most of us probably struggle with. Whether we are aware of it or not.

To me, it has a message that is radical. A message that shakes up our thinking and our perspective on life. A message that confronts us with realities we may be closing our eyes to. That challenges us to give up on illusions and wishful thinking. But that is not a bad thing. And it is something we need. If we deal with reality as it is, rather than as we wish it were, we have a better chance at real life. That's what the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud tried to teach us. Dealing with reality as it is, gives us a better chance to make the most of the life that has been given to us. A life that comes to us afresh every day. A life that is given to us anew every day. What do we do with this gift? How do we receive it?

King Solomon goes straight at it, startling us, waking us, shocking us from the very beginning:

“The words of the Teacher, son of David, king of Jerusalem:
‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’
says the Teacher.
‘Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless’” (Ecclesiastes 1:1-2 NIV).

How shocking is such a statement?
Imagine you are waiting for the speech of a great leader. The speaker enters that platform, walks to the pulpit, and looks at us, a hushed silence and anticipation descend. Then he says: ‘Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’ How would that make you feel?

We want meaning. We need meaning. We crave meaning. We create meaning, even where there is none. Yet, the reality is this: We experience meaninglessness. Emptiness. Brokenness.

What did King Solomon have to say about meaninglessness? What did he find meaningless?
·      Wisdom: “I said to myself, ‘Look, I have increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.’ Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind” (Eccl 1:16-17 NIV).
·      Pleasures: “I said to myself, ‘Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.’ But that also proved to be meaningless. ‘Laughter,’ I said, ‘is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish” “Eccl 2:1-2 NIV)?
·      Work, achievements, success, wealth, sex, greatness: “I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, and a harem as well – the delights of a man’s heart. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me” (Eccl 2:4-9 NIV).

Pleasures, work, achievements, success, wealth, sex, greatness. How many in the world, how many of us, seek meaning and fulfillment in these things?

But what was King Solomon’s experience in all this?

“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my labor,
and this was the reward for all my toil.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Eccl 2:10-17).

Meaning is not something you can create in your own life. Only what God does is meaningful, is lasting. Only God’s gifts, add true meaning to human lives. Whatever you strive for, whether wisdom, power, greatness, pleasures, wealth, relationships, sex, or even something spiritually noble or prestigious – if it is not a gift from God, given to you by God - it will disappoint, fail, and feel empty and meaningless. That is a fact. The fact Solomon learned the hard way – his own way.

Plenty of people, too many, have tried and are trying on their own to make something of their lives. The “self-made man”, or “woman”, is an ideal for many. Do you know the song, “My way”, famously sung by Frank Sinatra? I am not going to sing it for you. Don’t worry. It ends like this:

“For what is a man, what has he got
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes, it was my way.”

This attitude is boastful, prideful, and arrogant. King Solomon would call this foolishness. But the song was popular – immensely popular. Because it appeals to our depraved desire to manage our own lives, to be independent, to be the creators of our own happiness, our own lives, and our own world.

To Frank Sinatra’s credit, he didn’t write the song. Although it became his signature song, his daughter Tina said the singer came to hate the song: "He didn't like it. […] He always thought that song was self-serving and self-indulgent”, she said. He was right.

In the Bible, we find plenty of people who did it their own way – who tried and failed: Adam and Eve, Cain, Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Samson, Saul, David, Solomon, Nebuchadnezzar, Peter, Judas. The Bible is full of these stories; it all started in heaven with Satan. In stark contrast to these stories, stands the story of Jesus in Gethsemane, in anguish and fear, yet surrendering to his Father with the words: “… not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42 NIV).

So, if following our own way will only lead to failure, emptiness, and meaninglessness, what are we to do?

Solomon asks in Ecclesiastes 6:12:
“For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow” (Eccl 6:12 NIV)?

King Solomon is not depressed. He has not despaired or given up. In the book, he gives us the answer again and again. He tells us what is good in life, and what we should do.

“A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment” (Eccl 2:24-25 NIV)?

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil – this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure for ever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him” (Eccl 3:11-14 NIV).

“This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labour under the sun during the few days of life God has given them – for this is their lot. 19 Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil – this is a gift of God. 20 They seldom reflect on the days of their life, because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart” (Eccl 5:18-20).

“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun” (Eccl 8:15 NIV).

“Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun – all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom (Eccl 9:7-10 NIV).

Do you get the message? Enjoy life, find satisfaction in life – for this is your lot in life, part in life, purpose in life. But this life is not your own creation. God is the one and only creator. This life is a gift from God. Only what is given can fulfill. Only what is given to you by God, can truly bring enjoyment and satisfaction. If you seek enjoyment apart from what is given by God, you will be disappointed. You will despair as King Solomon did.

The foolishness, the tragedy of humankind since the beginning, is that we have tried to give ourselves what only God can give. We try to be independent of him. To be gods unto ourselves. To be gods in our own lives. To be like God. That was the first, original, and archetypal sin of Lucifer in heaven. And, it has remained the fundamental temptation and sin ever since. We want to be the creators of our own lives. We want to be creators, not created beings. We want to give to ourselves, rather than receive from the creator. We are not content in simply receiving from the hand of God. Rather, we want to create for ourselves and claim for ourselves what he hasn’t created or given.

Psychologically, existentially, this makes sense. We can understand it. Being created, only receiving from the hand of God, makes us dependent upon him. We do not have control. If we are dependent, not in control, we are basing our lives on the mercy and grace of another. This is hard. This is scary. This is risky. It means we must count on the trustworthiness and generosity of the other. If the other cannot be trusted, is unpredictable, and isn’t generous, then we are at risk. Then we risk not having our basic needs met. If the other lets us down, then we fall. Exposing ourselves to such a risk is counterintuitive. This has been the struggle for every generation, every human being since Adam and Eve. We want safety, we need safety, and if we haven’t learned to fully trust and surrender, then we want to be in control ourselves.

But the fact is: We aren’t creators. We are created. We cannot give ourselves what we truly need. Only what is given to us can truly fulfill. Whether from God or from people. We are utterly dependent on others. Independence is our enemy, the threat to our lives, not dependence. Independence cuts us off from others, from those who give. And only what is given, can truly satisfy our needs. Only what is given can truly fulfill.

So, as we journey through life, there are two important questions that should guide the choices we make. These are the questions we need to ask ourselves:

Question 1: Is this a gift from God? Is what I am now encountering something God wants to give me, something God wants me to have or experience? If not: Leave it. Let it go. It’s not worth having. If yes, move on to question 2.

Question 2: How can I make the most of this gift? How can I receive what God is giving me, and let it be a blessing in my life?

In the Talmud, there is a saying:
“In the world to come,
each of us will be called to account for all the good things
God put on earth
which we refused to enjoy.”

“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun” (Eccl 8:15 NIV).